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The True Measure of Success: Deserving vs. Wanting

coaching Oct 02, 2022

In our pursuit of success, especially in the realm of tennis, we often fall into the trap of believing that sheer hard work and an intense desire to achieve are enough to secure our goals. We think that because we have labored diligently and yearn deeply for victory, we inherently deserve to reach the pinnacle of success. However, the reality is far more nuanced: we don't get what we want, we get what we deserve. Deserving is not just about effort or desire; it's about the amount of potential we are ready to unleash at any given moment.

To understand this better, let’s consider what it truly means to deserve success. Deserving encompasses having the necessary skills, mindset, and physical conditioning to achieve our goals. In tennis, this translates to having well-developed strokes and tactics that can challenge our opponents, maintaining peak physical condition, and possessing a strong competitive mindset. Without these fundamentals, no amount of wishing or hard work can substitute for the actual preparedness required to succeed.

The Importance of Fundamentals and Mindset

It is essential to recognize that while our minds play a crucial role in shaping our performance, they are only one part of the equation. Achieving big things in tennis—or any field—requires a comprehensive approach. This includes:

  1. Technical Skills: Developing strokes and tactics that can create discomfort and challenges for opponents.
  2. Physical Conditioning: Ensuring that your body is in optimal shape to endure the physical demands of the sport.
  3. Mental Toughness: Cultivating a resilient mindset that can withstand the pressures of competition and the inevitable frustrations of practice.

The Dhammapada's Wisdom on Growth

The wisdom of Buddha, as expressed in the Dhammapada, illustrates the gradual nature of growth and development:

"Little by little a person becomes evil, as a water pot is filled by drops of water. Little by little a person becomes good, as a water pot is filled by drops of water."

This metaphor emphasizes that our mindset and capabilities are shaped incrementally, through the small, consistent actions and thoughts we cultivate daily. It is these seemingly insignificant moments that accumulate to define our overall potential and readiness to succeed.

The Role of Mindfulness and Consistency

To reach our highest potential, we must be mindful of how we think, feel, and focus. This involves:

  • Sustaining Focus: Consistently maintaining intent and attention during practices.
  • Emotional Regulation: Staying centered and not succumbing to emotions like anger or frustration, even when faced with difficult tasks.
  • Handling Pressure: Managing the stress and pressure of not performing to our expectations without letting it derail our efforts.

Embracing the Present and Letting Go of Expectations

The path to true fulfillment lies in dedicating our full attention to the present moment, learning to let go of unrealistic expectations, and accepting reality as it is. Fulfillment is not found by constantly chasing external achievements but by recognizing and appreciating the progress we make internally. As we focus on our growth and the quality of our efforts moment by moment, we gradually build the foundation necessary to deserve and achieve our goals.

In conclusion, to truly deserve success, we must cultivate our potential through disciplined practice, mental resilience, and mindful living. By doing so, we align our desires with our capabilities, ensuring that when the moment comes, we are not only ready but truly deserving of the success we seek.

 

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